


Let you go.

by Mysticteen



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Clone Wars, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Light Jealousy, Mentions of Ahsoka Tano - Freeform, Mentions of Obi-Wan Kenobi - Freeform, Mentions of Sabé (Star Wars), Padmé Amidala Needs a Hug, Planet Naboo (Star Wars), angst without happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticteen/pseuds/Mysticteen
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, noticing the deterioration of his relationship with his wife, decides to talk seriously with Padmé on Naboo when he has some free time in the middle of the Clone Wars.For love, some people do things that are sometimes unthinkable. And facing the consequences of that is the hardest thing in the end.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	Let you go.

Anakin waited for Padmé in the Land of Lakes, in that part of Naboo where they had been hiding for a short time when the attack against the Senator of that planet started.

Sitting on the pastures, with his eyes closed and quietly listening to the sound of the waterfall behind him, he could feel through the Force moments later that she was approaching almost silently. 

Her thoughts conveyed certain concern, as if that request her husband made hours before was not something normal among them ─ _which in times of war, really was not, especially in that site of Naboo─_.

"Ani?" She called him, finally getting to where the young man was sitting.

"Padmé." He opened his eyes, moving his head slightly to see her, as she sat down almost next to him. "I'm glad you're here so soon."

"I was anxious to see you, though I was surprised you mentioned this place." She replied, running her hands over her dress, turning her attention to her husband. She noticed in his expression that he didn't smile as he used to every time they met again, so her concern grew. "Is everything all right? Did something happen with the Separatists?"

It had been a while since they had seen each other due to Anakin's occupations in the face of the war. The love they felt for each other was still present, but for some reason, this time and at this meeting, the situation was strange, as if things were not the same as before.

"There is no problem with that. We're working it out with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, also other Council members, but I need to talk to you." He expressed with a seriousness that Padmé rarely saw in him. The pain could be seen in his eyes; they were bright, as if he needed to cry for a while.

"You can tell me anything, Ani."

"Well, you see..." he took a deep breath, looking away from her to the plants in front of them. "Distance is not doing us any good." He commented, starting to pull out some leaves from the grass under his body.

"I love you, but every time we meet, every time I look into your eyes I feel that, little by little, what we are, what we have begins to fade away." He looked at her again, and couldn't help but be hurt by what himself was starting to express. "Every time we find ourselves in the company of others, especially when you are with Sabé... How you see each other... I feel like I'm _losing_ you, Padmé."

"Anakin..." the older one couldn't help but be surprised by what her husband said. And not because of the mention of her best friend, but because the tone with which he said that. She felt as if it was a bitterness that he had been carrying for a long time.

"I know what you're thinking," he said, interrupting, turning away from his wife's touch. He took a deep breath again before continuing. "But you can't deny me that she has been with you much longer than I have and even could."

"Anakin, listen to me." She approached him, resting the palms of her hands on his cheeks, holding his face firmly. "I know that you have insecurities about Sabé, but have you not thought that I might have them too?" She questioned. Young Skywalker opened his eyes wide, as if he did not expect that.

"What do you mean?"

"Just as you say that I look different with Sabé, you _are_ the same with Master Kenobi." The senator commented, so her husband frowned. "Even Duchess Kryze has realized that, and has commented to me discreetly."

"It can't be... You're just confusing things, confusing my relationship with Obi-Wan." Skywalker stepped aside again, this time standing up.

"And aren't you doing the same? Do you think you're absolutely right?" Padmé questioned with some discomfort, standing up too, facing her husband.

"I'm _absolutely_ right in this case, and it is because I can feel you're going away from me. Because you look at Sabé the same way you looked at me long ago! I really _hate_ her!" he exclaimed, no longer able to contain himself, feeling his eyes burn and the beginning of a lump in his throat.

"You look at her with love and it's not just like _best friends_. You see her as the person you need most by your side, Padmé, and worst of all she _is_. Sabé could give you what I don't. She's with you every moment she can, and I... I don't even know if I would survive another attack in the war. And part of me wants to leave you, so you can go on and live your life without me. But the other part is begging you never leave."

Anakin turned his back for a moment, looking up at that bright, cloudless sky. Not even the most beautiful view of that planet could take away the storm that was swirling around inside him, that feeling that he had finally lost the only person who had ever given his life meaning. 

Since what happened with his mother, he was never the same; he clung much more to Padmé in spite of having Obi-Wan, and later, Ahsoka. But at that moment he simply felt that he could no longer breathe; his throat had closed, and just by swallowing saliva, it hurt. It hurt badly, just like that wound in his heart that didn't heal, but instead began to expand even more.

"And I can't be that selfish, not with you. I don't want to hurt you anymore, no more since I openly told you that I love you." Anakin bent his head, feeling the tears begin to slide down his cheekbones, pooling under his chin and then falling. "But I think the best thing we could do is to break up. I know you'll be in better hands, in the hands of someone who can protect you better. In the hands of someone who can give you all the love I cannot. Someone who can show love for you in front of everyone, without having to hide it because of an odious Jedi Code."

"Anakin, no." Padmé stood in front of him, the expression on her face of complete pain. 

Her husband hadn't done her any physical harm, but his words hurt as if he had pierced her with his own light saber, leaving her with a great emptiness.

"We have our worries, our problems, but we can solve them. I know that... Our love is not the same, but please don't leave me, I don't want it to end like this."

"How long are we going to keep pretending that we're okay?" He asked, resting his hands on his wife's shoulders. "How long are we going to pretend this can go on? The Republic needs me in the war, we don't know when it will end. I love you with my life, Padmé, but I cannot abandon my place in the Order. And I'm failing you because of that, because I can't put you above my occupations even if it's what I want most at this time."

The young man took one of his hands off Padmé's shoulders, bringing it to his wife's face to wipe away the tears that were quickly falling from her eyes. 

"Although it pains me to say this... I know you will be much better off without me." Anakin bit his lower lip to suppress a sob. "And that thanks to someone else you will receive the happiness you always deserved, and I was not able to give you."

He left a kiss on her forehead and without a second's hesitation, he moved away from her, walking away without looking back, ignoring Padmé's voice that over and over again called to him, begging him not to leave. 

It was sickening to love and to feel that same love fade away, and part of him believed that he had been disgustingly selfish to end things that way, but the other part of him believed that he had done his best.

Not for himself, but for her, he believed that _everything he did was for Padmé._

He just wanted to take her away from the problems, from the pain she might feel more and more because of the distance. Anakin didn't want her to feel that she had to suppress her feelings to anyone else, he didn't want her to feel tied to the marriage that they both had. 

Deep down they both knew that this would cruelly destroy them.

When he arrived at his ship, closing its hatch, he fell on his knees, shouting with pain, feeling the pressure on his chest and head, and the burning of his tears. A pang in his heart that wouldn't stop hurting in a long time. Perhaps it would never stop.

But it was for Padmé's sake, so that she wouldn't be used as his weakness, so that she wouldn't be used against him.

He had left Padmé so that she could be happy even if she couldn't see it at that moment; he had done it because he loved her and because of all the mistakes he had made during his short years of life, he didn't want or pretend that Padmé would end up destroyed inside because of him.


End file.
